I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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