I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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