I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
