Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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