She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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