You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
