is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
