Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
