yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
