help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize