There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
