How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you traded sex for a burrito?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize