Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
