it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You have to summon your inner elephant
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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