I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
