Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
