Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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