Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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