There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
