some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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