is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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