People in love make me want to vomit
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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