i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
