It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
