He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
