I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
