Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
this hospital has no fireball
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
