This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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