Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
