I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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