He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
its liver damage thursday
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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