i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
