Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
