Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
