So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
