Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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