I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize