just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
