I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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