my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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