I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
