Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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