Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
