This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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