the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
