is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
