Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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