I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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