I skipped work to stalk him.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
