a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
