he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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