We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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