That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
