I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
