I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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