i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
