At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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