he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We had to coat check the pizza.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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