From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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