Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So here I am, sexting at work.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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