Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
